The joys of marriage Or the lack of it?

I hear a survey in Bongo has shown that those young fellows who have been showing plenty of teeth in our Sunday papers and ‘celebrating’ marriage are having second thoughts about the joys of marriage. They don’t like it one bit.

A whopping 93 per cent of 200 women who were asked if they enjoyed the joys of marriage said, no way. They would rather get a divorce, but they feared for their kids. The guys they agreed to get hitched to are a disaster. There are lots of regrets: ‘If I only knew….’

Marriage is fast becoming an anachronism. Many are increasingly saying that the institution belongs to the past and you don’t need it. Of course those religious types will be looking daggers at me and my likes. But I can fight my corner.

In the days when my old guy met the old girl, all he had to do a fact was organize a posse of like minded young crooks and wait by the water well. When a girl of their fancy came along, they would grab her and flee with her.

Then tomorrow the culprit in the posse would go to the girl’s family, waving a white flag and confess to have ‘stolen’ the girl. I am sure her father might have given the nod to the future son-in-law to go ahead. He was fined a few cows and ordered to give other offerings – a thing which he paid respectfully, and that was it. They were then declared man and wife.

Come the 21st century and there is a global village at work. The world has become so small. You don’t have to organize a posse to go after some chick by the water well. All you have to do is go to a disco. In fact both sexes organize inter-sexual posses – they call them discos. That is a more agreeable way of the boy-meets-girl show.

Then they go for each other like horny rabbits. Which all of which most of us went through. The unlucky ones even get married. The lucky one escape. You don’t believe that? Find a chick you thought you would marry ten years ago. You will thank the spirit of your forefathers, didn’t.

Now before couple marry the boy and girl look very nice when they open their parent’s fridge for a chicken and tomato sandwich and a beer. No questions asked (the Papa-this and Mama-that types). But when they get married they find they have to pay for that chicken and tomato sandwich from their own pockets.

Trouble is there is no pocket to be had – unless, of course, if your parents are in that bunch of fisadis made with a lot of stealing from the EPA scandals. You realize that money can be very romantic. The girl first realizes the guys sexy even if he looks like he has just been living in the Congo Tropical forest. And if he is also very free and eager to connect his fists with her lovely face, she still finds him sexy because he has the dosh.

So she thinks he will change with time though the Neanderthal behaviour in men is very difficult to change. The guy does not realize that he has just married an Amazon, who can head-butt like some an angry goat when provoked. And when they are busy manhandling each other, junior is wailing for ‘nyo-nyo’. You get a terrible sense of disillusionment with the institution of marriage. You want out!

Or you live in a state of armed truce – separate bedrooms, no talking to each other, unless you have guests. You seek comfort and affection from any creature which looks like a man or woman. But, not to worry too much. Women are increasingly earning an income and do not need to live and tolerate obnoxious men. They can have babies whose fathers they don’t know.

Men can hire a womb. Just get the seed and you can rent a womb, for a small fee. You get your baby without working up a sweat! It also unshackles women from the notion of being ‘looked after’ by men. Since women can earn their own money, they can get a couple of gigolos for manly attention. Who wants to be lumbered by a snoring gorilla reeking of beer in bed? And which man wants to be shouted dizzy by an Amazon who talks like she has swallowed 120 minute digital CD? The institution of marriage is fast on its way out!
Item Reviewed: The joys of marriage Or the lack of it? Description: Rating: 5 Reviewed By: Sakura District, Inc

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